Brief Sketch on an early Saturday afternoon

This post was written 4 months ago.
Sat, 11 Nov 2017
I was just reminded how well I am really. Yesterday I had a blip, but after all, it was just one day. If I manage to confine it like that, that is something. Still, when it happens, it is very difficult, and I think many people have no clue what it feels like.

This morning I went to watch my son's football team play. Watching them play has become my key meditative in-the-moment experience each week. It is a bit like when you are going on a long journey and all you need to do is drive. I enjoy that, too. In this case, nothing more is asked of you than watch. And it can be quite exciting as well. I swear it is more gripping to watch these boys than a Premier league or international team. To me it is, at least.

I am so interested in doing things now. To progress. To organise, learn, explore. I really do not want to dwell anymore on too much psychological shit. Except of course, it would be good to know oneself sufficiently, to have a good idea which things make sense to take on, and which do less.

I used to think I am doing too many things at once, but actually, the things I have in mind now, I can do them, if I manage to stay out of the depression, and if I find a way of prioritising and compartmentalising things well. I don't watch television, I think that helps. - I did not realise how long a lingering dysthymia/light depression had been going on; only now I see again what wellbeing really means. And I dare to say, this is different from one that you'd achieve through pills; all au naturel; I am not against pills, but I'd use them in the graver cases only; a constantly low mood is not necessarily a case for a pill; it is a sign that something is not quite right and is asking to be changed; a long dragged-out process then to really do so, and no good outcome guaranteed. But when it comes, it just is so good.

So, then, this is what I am going to do, beside my 20 hours work per week:
  • Organise Codehub
  • Work on practice coding projects
  • Learn Haskell
  • Learn Guitar
  • Read, read, read

Of course the "organise CodeHub" comprises many things, and I will want to write about that, to pluck it all apart, what the individual activities might be.

Now, I have to take my son to his friend. Then later, Jaron Lanier at Watershed, and after that, welcoming my husband back from his 1 week trip to Japan. Yay :)

Tags: codeHub / organising /
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